We have all been there - growing up with a set of cousins and friends and gradually drifting apart, only to find out all of a sudden that we have little in common now. We either have so little to talk about or we have lots to talk about (mostly gossip). But none of that is the same as years ago. Conversations used to be simpler, games used to be fun and innocent, and our worries were probably limited to homework.
Going on in life, we find ourselves living in different worlds, unable to go back to those simpler times when we sat watching our favourite cartoons or television shows and eating snacks at a time when we knew little to nothing about diets, etc.
While we may have enjoyed those simple games or all those visits to our grandparents' house back in the day, we find that life has now pulled us off in various directions. We finish school and move out to different universities, and jobs and careers take off.
We find physical and emotional distance separating us. Our busy lives steal the time we used to spend with our childhood buddies and cousins, who have now taken up new interests, explored uncharted territories, and discovered passions, just like us, which is what shapes who we are all becoming.
It gets even more frustrating when you find that you're the only one trying to stay in touch. You are the only one who keeps calling old friends or cousins, trying to get them to talk or text, and doing your best to stay in contact. But all you get in response is disinterest. This is not always the case, but at the same time, this happens too many times to count and with many people.
While you might have not needed an excuse back in childhood, now you need the excuse of a festival, a family function, a family vacation, or a death ceremony simply to reconnect and spend a few hours together before going back your separate ways again.
Drifting apart doesn't always happen because of arguments, fights, and disagreements. It also happens because one or more parties are not even interested in keeping in touch. They put the least bit of effort into keeping in touch with you. And when you notice and get tired of their behaviour, you stop contacting them too. Their unwillingness hurts you, so you move on with your life.
Priorities change as people grow up or grow older. People meet new allies, form new interests and hobbies, develop newer priorities, face new circumstances, and become busy with their own lives. Feeling nostalgic and hurt is natural. At the same time, others' decisions or behaviour is not under your control either.
Technology has made it so much easier to be in touch. Ranging from Facebook to Instagram, from Twitter to Snapchat, from WhatsApp to Messaging and normal calls, it is so much easier to contact people from across the globe. Decades ago, people used handwritten letters that took ages to get delivered to the right address.
Some people might contact you for one thing; or when you contact people, some people might assume one thing. Convenient favours. It's like you or the other person exists for nothing else. These transactional conversations hurt a lot but at least you know what they think of you now.
If you ever find yourself reaching out to old connections, you are so much better than the ones who don't even try to reach out to you/their old connections either as a reply to when you contact them or by being the first to reconnect with you. Whether or not you decide to stay in touch even if you don't get proper replies from them is totally up to you. But just remember one thing - the people who really want to stay in touch with you WILL make time for you no matter what! It's not about lack of time - it's about lack of willingness.
Therefore, if you find yourself the only person putting effort into keeping an old friendship or relationship going, the credit goes to you. It's completely your choice to decide if that person is worth your time and effort. But remember that that person does not decide your worth. Matter of fact, no one does.
This is also why people develop an interest in fiction - be it in the form of books, movies, music, art, or anything else. While in real life, there are challenges such as lack of reliability or lack of quality time spent together, with fictional characters, you can get invested in their journey and get attached, thus getting rid of your loneliness.
It's also why people get attached to pets. Pet animals provide the company, loyalty, and sincerity people yearn for. If not fellow humans, you always have the option of pets, fictional characters, and other hobbies and interests that give purpose and meaning.
Not all of us are Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger - the iconic Golden Trio in the Harry Potter series. Many of us are probably that background character everybody forgets about. But that does not make us any less worthy - even Arabella Figg had a real purpose in the Harry Potter series!
You have a purpose in life, even if it is invisible. Keep smiling, stay healthy, and keep up the good worth. Your worth should be decided only by you. So, don't let your worth fall in your eyes. People drift apart and that's okay. We all come into this world alone. We will all leave this world alone. Even the most popular, most followed and liked, and most sought-after ones! Don't get disheartened or feel purposeless. Work on what makes you feel content and happy as long as you don't hurt anyone or anything!
Comments